Light vs L vs Hermione
by whynotwhocares
Summary: Hermione gets her hands on Light's Death Note. L steals the Doctor's TARDIS. Ryuk is just as annoying as usual.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Harry Potter, nor do I claim to own them.**

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><p>Light grabbed his duffel bag and backpack and placed them neatly on his bed before finally taking out his pen and revealing the secret hiding place of the Death Note.<p>

After he took it out, Ryuk asked from behind him, "Why exactly are you taking the Death Note?" Light turned around to face the shinigami. "After all, I would think it would be safer here, with all the precautions you set up for it."

"Yes, it might be," affirmed Light. "However, this trip is two weeks long. Two weeks is a long time, in which lots of things can happen. Someone could find my secret panel in that time, and I can't exactly carry out my plan of becoming a god over my perfect world if the focus to that plan is incinerated, can I?" With that, he tucked the notebook into his duffel bag, and the conversation was over.

Light said his goodbyes to his mom and sister before exiting the house with Ryuk. "But, won't L get suspicious when criminals stop dying in Japan and start dying in England?" the shinigami asked.

"Don't be stupid, Ryuk," Light told the Death God as they walked to the meeting place. "I've arranged for deaths of criminals to continue for the next two weeks here in Japan, and I'll only use the Death Note in England if completely necessary, so no one will suspect a thing." Light smiled. "This is the true reason why I wanted to go to England. No one will even think that Kira is in England for the next two weeks."

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><p>"Kira's in England," said L.<p>

L, sitting in his favorite swivel chair, stared at the identical copy of himself from the future over his knees. "What, exactly, did you just say?" he said to himself.

"I said, Kira's in England," said the L from the future.

"How, exactly, do you know this?" asked L.

"Because I told myself, of course," the future L said. "In fact, we aren't really even having a conversation right now. I'm just repeating what I remember myself saying at your point in the timeline."

"Huh," said the L from the present.

"Oh, and spoiler! Light is Kira."

"I knew it!" said L.

"Of course you knew it," affirmed the future L. "And I knew you knew it, and I know you know that I know that you knew it, and I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that-"

"I am completely lost here," said L.

"As am I."

"So, what do we do now?"

"Well, the plan that I proposed to myself was that you go to England to hunt down Yagami and get some evidence against him while I stay here and pretend to lead the investigation, which is now almost completely useless at this point."

"Alright," agreed L with himself. "Oh, and a question- where exactly did you manage to get a time machine?" he said, staring at the wooden blue box that said POLICE on it behind the future version of himself.

"Oh, this? I, um, _borrowed_ it from a humanoid alien and his two companions. I'm going to return it, though! Just as soon as I'm done using it," said the future L.

"Huh. I guess I'd better leave as soon as possible, then."

"Yup."

"Okay."

"Cool."

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><p>It started raining as the bus pulled up to the bus stop. Light pulled his hoodie over his head and filed onto the bus with the twenty or so other students and the English professor. The world outside the bus turned gray as dark clouds obscured the sun and rain hammered outside the windows. The ride to the airport slowly became more dull as the scenery appeared to repeat itself. The classmate in the seat next to him tried to engage him in conversation, but Light ignored him. Ryuk also said some random things that were absolutely irrelevant to Light in every way. Then, on the last stop, some people got off and a crowd of people got on. Light watched the crowd when suddenly, he and a young man's big eyes met. Suddenly, the entire world turned gray except for Light's red and L's blue.<p>

_What? How is he here? Why is he here? The fact that he's here means that he seriously suspects me, because he wouldn't abandon the investigation in Japan to follow me to Japan if he wasn't sure that I was Kira! Wait a second! He just got on a bus! I don't even know that he's following me to England yet! Yes, that's it! He must be getting off somewhere else!_

The bus stopped in front of the airport, and L got off with the rest of Light's class.

_Dang it!_

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><p>The flight to England was pretty uneventful, and, thankfully for Light, L was seated in first class while Light was in coach. After they got off the flight, L disappeared into the crowd, and Light couldn't see him again until three days later, when he was sightseeing and L randomly showed up in the same tour group for the Tower of London.<p>

"Pleasant day, isn't it?" L asked politely, standing next to Light as the tour guide lectured about the crows.

Light gritted his teeth before answering with equal politeness, "Yes, I do think so. Say, don't you think that this tour is rather fascinating?"

"Yes, I do think that," replied L. "So, what do you say we cut these trivialities and you ask me what you're thinking, and I answer what I know that you know my answer will be."

"Fair enough," said Light while still pretending to pay attention to the tour guide as though this conversation was only a minor distraction. "What are you doing here in London?"

"Why, trailing you, of course," said L in the response both of them knew was coming.

"And, you're trailing me because you think that I'm Kira?" asked Light, again knowing the response.

"Of course," said L.

"But you can't find enough incriminating evidence?" Light asked.

"No," replied L.

"Well, this has been a most unenlightening conversation," Light said with trails of sarcasm in his voice.

"For the both of us," said L.

* * *

><p>When Light got to the hotel room he and his classmate Timothy were sharing, he grabbed his duffel bag and raced into the bathroom, making it seem as though he was just taking an innocent shower. However, he was really checking up on the Death Note! What an unsurprising revelation!<p>

With the water turned on in the shower to add to the illusion, Light reached into his duffel bag to pull out the Death Note, and instead pulled out in its place…

…a pair of underwear.

Going back three hours earlier in Light's hotel room, a gothic maid named Luca entered the hotel room, and saw a black notebook sticking out of a duffel bag. Having an outrageous love for anything black, she took it out and is relatively delighted to find out that it can kill anyone whose name she writes inside. So she stole it.

In the present Luca's apartment, she pulls the notebook out of her uniform and throws it on her desk. Taking out a pen, she writes in the name of a former popular girl at her high school. Nothing appears to happen, so she puts the notebook in her desk drawer and goes to bed.

The next morning, she gets the idea to call her friend, Vivian, who goes to school at the popular girl's college to see if it worked. Much to her surprise, the popular girl died of a heart attack the past day. The gothic maid smiles. She was going to have a lot of fun with this notebook.

Over the next few months, the gothic maid kills several innocent people before finally losing it in a public café, where it is found by a carpenter who, horrified by it, throws it away, where it ends up at the dump and is found by a hobo named Paco, who uses it to secure food and goods for himself before he is violently mugged and murdered by a street thug, who is arrested by the police in King's Cross Station, where he drops the notebook and where it is found by a very intelligent teenage girl who is on her way back to a magical boarding school.

And so it was that the Death Note came to be possessed by Hermione Granger.


	2. Discovery and Adventures in Recursion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Harry Potter, or the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, nor do I claim to own them.**

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><p>Hermione watched as the man struggled to get away from the policeman who held his arms behind his back as the other policeman cuffed him and led him away, and it was in doing this that she saw the notebook fall from his jacket onto the ground. Looking around to make sure no one else saw, Hermione, always a sucker for a notebook, reached down and discretely pilfered it.<p>

Adding it to her cart of possessions, she, again, looked around to make sure no one was looking and darted through the barrier of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. She plunked her chest in the back of the train, as usual, but decided to examine the notebook on her way back to Hogwarts. Personally, she didn't really have anything better to do, as neither Ron nor Harry were usually on winter break with her.

Turning the notebook over, she saw that it had, printed in large letters, the words DEATH NOTE on the front. Thinking about the morbidity of that title, she opened it and saw the instructions written inside. One line in particular caught her eye: if the cause of death is not specified, the subject will simply die of a heart attack. Hermione turned gold as she started to internally monologue. _Weren't heart attacks how the serial killer Kira primarily killed his victims? But, if that was true, then did that mean that this notebook was how he killed his victims? That was, assuming that it wasn't a hoax. But, then again, it was a bit too elaborate to be a hoax. And what motivation would someone have for creating a hoax this-_

Her thoughts were interrupted as Luna walked into her compartment. Startled, Hermione looked up, then closed and tried to put away the Death Note before she could see it, but-

"Ooh, are you a fan of Death Note too?" Luna asked Hermione, sitting down in the seat across from her.

"A fan of what?" Hermione asked.

"Death Note. It's a popular Muggle animation, although it's also a book," Luna continued. "I have a copy on me, if you'd like to read it."

Hermione took the book, and skimmed through it. She suddenly realized something.

"Hang on," Hermione suddenly said. "Luna, Kira is a serial killer who kills criminals with heart attacks, right?"

"Yes, he is!" Luna said, proud of herself for keeping up on Muggle news.

"And the character Light in this book, he's a serial killer who kills criminals with heart attacks using a magical book who has been dubbed Kira by the public, right?"

"Yes… oooh," said Luna, finally putting two-and-two together. "But, couldn't Death Note have been created as a sort of explanation for Kira?"

"True," said Hermione, thinking over it. "Say, have you seen the latest volume?"

"Yes, it's about a magical girl named Hermione acquiring the Death Nooooh," said Luna, again putting two-and-two together. To be honest, Hermione was beginning to doubt Luna's skills as a Ravenclaw.

"But, how is that possible?" asked Hermione. "How could the writer know that I would get the Death Note in the near future? He's either a very, _very_ good guesser, or he has some sort of precognitive powers, and personally, I'm going with the latter."

(Little did Hermione know, but the author of Death Note was in fact a grown-up Haruhi Suzumiya, whose desire for her novels to be real made it so.)

"But if all the events in the Death Note series are correct, then that means that Light is going to be trying to seek you out and get the Death Note back!" Luna exclaimed, suddenly afraid for her distant acquaintance's life.

"Then I'm just going to have to be ready for him," said Hermione, clutching the Death Note and getting a wicked smile on her face.

* * *

><p>In the months since the previous chapter, Light had:<p>

- pretended to disappear after the end of his class trip

- gotten a job and an apartment in London

- gotten no leads whatsoever on the location of the Death Note

Ryuk, personally, thought that Light had gone mad over finding his Death Note again. Meanwhile, it became increasingly obvious to the police that Kira was now in England and was now killing civilians as well as criminals, whereas the killings in Japan had stopped.

In the months that had passed since his "disappearance", Light had, in fact, heard several rumors about the existence of a magic book that could kill people. The rumor hadn't spread too far, though his early attempts to squash them had resulted in failure.

Light, at this moment, was pacing his (mostly barren) apartment, trying to think of something that could be used to find the notebook. He had already traced the lead of the gothic maid to as far as it had lead him, which was practically nowhere. She had been one of the few he had killed on his remaining sheet of the Death Note. However, despite trying to kill as few people as possible, his urges had gotten the better of him and the entire front page was already filled up.

He decided to go out for a walk, with Ryuk following close behind him. It was Easter break, so the streets were fairly crowded, despite the slight and, in Light's opinion, fairly unpleasant drizzle over London. Thinking about getting his Death Note back made him a bit dizzy with the implausibility of it, but still, there _must_ be a way…

A frizzy haired girl was staring at him. No, not at him, but behind him. But the only thing behind him was Ryuk, and he was invisible to all who hadn't touched the Death Note, _his_ Death Note…

It was a slim lead, but it was the only one he had.

Trailing the girl was relatively simple compared to finding her. He eventually found out that she lived in a quiet little neighborhood, with a bench across the street from her house, no less, so it would be very easy to do a stakeout without alerting her suspicions.

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><p><em>Dang it!<em> Hermione thought. She knew Light would have his shinigami with him, and she knew what it would look like, but she couldn't help having her eyes pop out in shock at actually _seeing _it! Seriously, it was friggin' hideous! Now he'd been staking out her house for hours now. What could she do now? He knew where she lived, and she suspected that he wasn't above breaking and entering… of course, she did know his name, and she did have the Death Note… no! Killing was absolutely out of the question! She hadn't yet, and she never would. Never! However, she did have an advantage where he did not- she could do magic! But, with the underage magic restrictions, that was out of the question too, unless she could prove it was in self-defense…

This prompted her to think of a quote from the Death Note series that Luna had most graciously loaned her: the best defense is attack!

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><p>Light had been calculating almost every possibility in his head, but he was completely unprepared for what actually happened.<p>

The frizzy haired girl he'd been staking out opened the door and walked out. Light primed himself for going across the street and getting in under false pretenses, as he'd planned, but was vaguely surprised when she crossed the street, and was even more surprised when she walked up to him and asked whether he was going to come in or not.

Light had no plans for this possibility, so he was forced to spontaneously bluff. "Y-Yes, I-I would l-love that," he said, choosing to play the part of the secret admirer. The girl smirked at him.

"Come in, then," she gestured towards the house. As Light walked with her, he couldn't help but feel like she'd bought his bluff almost too easily.

Inside the house, her parents looked a little startled to see that she had brought home a boy.

"Who is this, exactly?" the girl's mother asked.

"This is Light, from school," the girl replied, putting emphasis on _school_.

"Oh, well, carry on then," the mother said, and Light followed the girl upstairs, feeling like he had just been led straight into a trap and had bought it hook, line, and sinker (although, because he didn't fish, he had no idea what any of those things were).

Up in the girl's room, she dropped any attitude of cheerfulness she had before. "Let's drop the false pretenses," shocking Light a bit in her bluntness. "You are Light Yagami, also known as Kira, I am Lily Granger (it was the first fake name she could think of and she thought it went rather well with the thematic naming of L and Light), I have your Death Note, you want it back, and I'm not giving it to you."

Wow. Light was kind of astonished at her detective work. Granted, he would _definitely_ have to kill her now, but still, just, _wow_.

He took the Death Note sheet out to write her name on it, but was immediately rebuffed by Lily, as she called herself. "It's a fake name," she said. Inwardly, he sighed. He _hated _having to deal with fake names. Not to mention that this one's name was especially imperative to him, and he couldn't trick her into spewing it out. Well, he could always try using force, and her parents might mistake it for them, well…

He lunged out at her, figuring that he could more than likely overpower her, due to his masculinity and age. He was wrong. She quickly held out a palm, which he ran into. This stunned him for a split second, but that was enough time for her to stand up and slap her palms against his temples, then kick him backwards into the door.

Downstairs, the girl's mother and father heard the noises upstairs and inferred the exact opposite of what was actually happening.

Back in her room, Light had grabbed Hermione's her and was yanking it about before she gripped him by the under arms and flipped him over onto the bed, followed by her hair, and then by her.

It was at that particular moment that the father chose to check up on them.

Scrambling up from the awkward position, Hermione attempted to straighten her hair a bit (to no avail) while Light attempted to straighten up his clothes. The father backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

And Hermione promptly punched Light in the face.

Ten minutes later, Hermione stood, panting, over a breathless Light, completely worn out by their fight.

She leaned in close to his face. "Leave my house, Light Yagami. And if you value your life, you will never, _ever_ come back," she breathed.

Light nodded, and she got off of him. He slowly picked his way up off the floor and trudged towards the door. Ryuk solemnly followed. The two of them shuffled out the door, with Hermione's parents looking concernedly after him, wondering how Hermione had messed up this relationship.

Light had remained impassive for his trip to the front door, but now that he was outside he could visibly express his frustration. Acting out of pure rage, he tore his remaining sheet of the Death Note in half before realizing what he had just done and quickly putting the page back in his pocket.

Ryuk just laughed at him. "Wow, man, you got owned back there," the shinigami laughed. Light just gritted his teeth. Why was the death god laughing at him? He, the ultimate god of earth, the one to bring a new era to the world, was being laughed down by this worthless being whose only real power came through his Death Note? No, Light would surely have to make amends to this. He _would_ get his Death Note back, if it was the last thing he did! No, scratch that last part. What was the good of getting his Death Note back if he couldn't use it? No, he would just have to find a way to find out the girl's real name without alerting her. It would take time, but if there was one thing he had a lot of, it was just that.

* * *

><p>Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily she had managed to play the part of the stubborn-yet-brilliant girl who could face down Light and win every time, just as she had planned. Yes, Light was definitely at least a bit afraid of her, which was exactly the reaction Luna and her had wanted from him.<p>

Of course, the downside to that was that he could just as easily interrogate her parents when she wasn't home and then kill her before she found out. However, a modified Memory Charm could deceive them into believing that her name actually _was _Lily, therefore rendering his interrogation useless. Of course, she would have to also make it so that they didn't know anyone else who knew her name so they couldn't refer him to anyone. She smiled. Light was going to get a whole lot more than he bargained for messing with this witch.

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><p><strong>Sorry that this chapter is so late; see you next time!<strong>


	3. Mary Sues and Voldemort

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Harry Potter, nor do I claim to own them.**

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><p>Two weeks after his confrontation with the girl, Light went back to the house, under a disguise so that the parents wouldn't recognize him.<p>

"So, tell me about your daughter," he said, under his guise of a social worker.

"Well, she's very, um, unusual, that is to say-" said the mother before Light cut her off.

"How about we start with a name," he said.

"Oh, her name is Lily. Lily Granger," said the mom.

Light was instantly confused. _Why did she say that? I know that it's a fake name. The girl probably put her up to it. But then, how am I going to figure out her real name? Oh, I can probably just ask her about friends and interrogate them instead._

"Does she have very many friends?" he asked innocently.

"Oh, yes," said the father.

"Could you give me some of their names?" Light asked.

"Oh, yes, but you might have some difficulty locating them, because their families are, well, _unusual_."

_Again with that word. What exactly is going on here?_ "Well, can you tell me where she goes to school?" he asked, knowing that he could hack his way into the school system and get her real name.

"Um-" the father stammered before the mother interjected. "She goes to Gilligan's Academy for Gifted Girls."

Something seemed oddly suspicious about the way they answered. "One last question," he said with a bit of frustration showing in his voice. "Is she an only child?"

"Yes," said the father.

Light thanked them both for their time halfheartedly and then walked out the door knowing that he was most likely no closer to finding her real name than he was when he had started interrogating them.

* * *

><p>L was bored.<p>

In fact, he was so bored that he had taken to sitting upside down in his chair instead of in his usual manner, as the improved blood flow increased his reasoning ability over a regular stance by 60%. He had actually had enough time to do that calculation, create a formula for a perfect romance novel, publish several romance novels as a side income, solve the Riemann Hypothesis, and still have time for his (almost nonexistent, at this point) investigation, and still have time leftover. Which was why he was spending more and more time at the Wammy's House.

"Checkmate," said Matt to Mello, who proceeded to flip the chessboard in Matt's face. Matt then grabbed the chessboard and whapped Mello across the face with it. This quickly escalated into a full-sized brawl between the two. L chuckled while Near just stared at them and rolled his eyes.

L's cell phone rang. He picked it up with two fingers and held it beside his ear.

"Hello, this is L."

"Hello, this is L," mimicked the other L.

"Very funny. Was there a reason you are calling?"

"Yes, actually. What time is it?" said the other L.

L checked his watch. "10:42."

"Excellent," the other L responded. "In exactly 18 minutes you will receive a critical piece of information relating to the Light Yagami case."

"Oh, so we aren't even bothering to call it the Kira case anymore?"

"Why should we? We know who the culprit is, we just need evidence."

"Well, anyways, why call me to tell me when I'm going to receive a critical piece of evidence instead of letting me just get it unaware?"

"So that you will remember to call yourself so that you will remember to call yourself so that you will-"

"Yes, yes," said a frustrated L. "Goodbye."

Near looked up at him after he closed the phone. "Was that something pertaining to the Kira case?"

"Why ask if you already know?" said L. Near looked disappointed over not being able to show off his deduction skills. But, that's what you get for being a smart aleck.

Exactly eighteen minutes after the phone call, Watari walked onto the patio where L and the children were.

"I've just returned from the town, sir," he said, taking off his coat. "It's odd, there are rumors all around about a notebook that can kill people, what an odd rumor…"

L checked his watch. Exactly 11:00. "Really, are you quite certain?" L questioned.

"Of course sir, why would I make something like that up?"

_Hmm… _thought L. _I guess it makes sense that Kira is using a notebook as his primary weapon, after all, it does fit into the theme of physically implausible murders. But if there are rumors going around, then that must mean that he lost it… this could be an excellent chance for me to get proof that Light is Kira!_

L suddenly jumped up, and was struck by the blood suddenly rushing from his head. He staggered a bit, before regaining his balance.

"Watari, we're going to town," L said.

In a relatively short amount of time, L tracked down the source of the rumors to a street thug in jail, who he managed to interrogate (through a monitor, of course), but found out nothing besides that he had dropped the notebook in King's Cross Station.

"Thank you for your time," L said, then turned off the microphone with a frustrated sigh. He had come so close for naught. Finding out who picked up the notebook would require searching through tons of train records and trying to figure out who would have crossed paths with the notebook, and even then-

"Perhaps I could help you," said a voice behind him.

L turned around to see a lean teenager with messy, dark hair eating a marshmallow. He pressed the button for Watari's intercom. "Watari, who is this person and how did they get in here?"

"I've been tailing you ever since you left the orphanage," the teenager said, popping the rest of his marshmallow into his mouth. "You really aren't that difficult to track."

"Yes, but that really doesn't explain how you-" L continued before being interrupted.

"You can call me S," the teenager continued, as though L wasn't even there. "I'm the fourth top student from Wammy's, and I want to work with you on this case."

"I surrounded my apartment with lasers!" L shouted.

Just then, Watari walked in. "L," he said. "do you think this could be another…"

L's eyes got wide. "Watari, institute plan X-Z-4-5-10-MARY SUE ALERT!" Watari whipped out a shotgun and knocked S unconscious while L pushed a button in his pocket that opened up a trapdoor beneath the teenager, plummeting him into a lava pit.

"The lava pit was a nice touch, sir," said Watari, staring down into the hole that was now in L's apartment.

"I'm just surprised that I could get it approved by the zoning department," replied L.

* * *

><p>"…and that is my great plan to get Harry Potter to give us the prophecy!" the Dark Lord concluded to strained applause. He quickly killed the idiots who didn't clap, and then continued. "Any questions?" A Death Eater raised his hand, and Voldemort quickly killed him. "No? Good. Now, can someone pick up all of these bodies? They're starting to annoy me."<p>

"My Lord," said a Death Eater near the back. The sea of Death Eaters parted to reveal a short, mouse-like Death Eater in the back. "If I may say something, there is a rumor among the Muggles of a… a…"

"Speak, Pettigrew!" rasped Lord Voldemort.

"They speak of a notebook that can kill people," said Peter quickly. "All that you need is a name and a face, and they will die. If I may say so, it might be more reliable than Avada Kedavra, given our circumstances…"

"True…" the Dark Lord said. "Find out who has the notebook and kill them. I should like to see if this is just myth or fact…"

"We already know who has the notebook, my Lord, thanks to our loyal servant at Hogwarts," Pettigrew said. "Her name is Hermione Granger."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about the boring chapter; hopefully it will be more exciting next time!<strong>


	4. Hogwarts and Notebooks

**No, I do not own Harry Potter or Death Note.**

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><p>Hermione hated Wednesdays.<p>

Wednesdays were right in the middle of the week, in between the elation of a new week starting on Mondays and the gratitude of the week ending of Fridays. To her, nothing important was ever taught on a Wednesday either, or at least nothing that she hadn't learned already. Because of this, she formed a theory that nothing important would ever happen on a Wednesday.

That theory was about to be blown to bits.

On this particular Wednesday, Hermione was sitting in Arithmancy as Professor Vector lectured on and on in an endless monotone about the magical properties of the number seven, and felt her eyes start to droop…

She was suddenly jolted awake when a large explosion ripped through the castle. Several students jumped up to go see what it was, eager for the chance to skip the lecture, when the professor called them back.

"I'm sure that it was just an incident with the first year Potion class," she said calmly. "Now, as I was saying, seven has-"

Just then, another professor burst through the door. "He-Who-Must-Not—" the professor paused and shook his head. "The Death Eaters are invading Hogwarts!"

Some fourth year girl who Hermione didn't recognize screamed and fainted. The boy who was sitting next to her knelt down beside her while the professor motioned, "Come with me if you want to live."

The class scrambled out the door behind him and hurried through the corridor. Everywhere Hermione looked, red and green curses were flying. Through the flying hexes Hermione could see two Death Eaters cornering a group of first years. She took aim and launched two Stunning Spells at the Death Eaters and watched as they both collapsed. This probably terrified the first years more than the Death Eaters themselves.

Hermione shook her head and tried to catch up with the rest of the group, who had left her far behind, when the path in front of her exploded. She yelped and leapt backwards, very nearly dodging a Killing Curse that flew next to her face. Keeping her head low, she ran the other way when she plowed her head into someone's gut.

"Oomph!" they both yelled as they toppled to the ground. Hermione grabbed her wand and turned around only to discover that she had run into Luna.

"Hello Hermione," Luna said. "What are you doing here?"

"Hermione blinked. "Trying to escape the castle before I get killed," she said.

"That's nice," Luna said. "I'm looking for a Blibbering Humdinger."

"Okay…" Hermione replied cautiously.

"Ooh!" Luna suddenly exclaimed. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know… after getting out of here?" Hermione thought. "London, I guess?"

"Can I come with you?" Luna asked joyfully. "I've never been allowed to just roam around London before because Daddy says all the Muggles there are in cahoots with the Rotfang Conspiracy."

"What?" Hermione asked, confused.

"I know, right?" Luna continued. "It's rather obvious that only the Prime Minister is in on it."

Hermione could only stare at her dumbfoundedly.

"Excellent! I'm coming with you then!" Luna said.

_Luna Lovegood joined your party!_

"Hmm? What was that?" Luna asked.

"What was what?" Hermione replied.

Luna blinked. "Nothing," she said.

Just then, a curse hit the wall above them, sending a shower of debris over them. Hermione and Luna ran down the hallway, occasionally taking the time to dodge a stray spell or launch a counter, and after a few minutes of this, they ended up in the Great Hall.

"Woah," said Hermione, looking at the scene laid before her.

The air was filled with spells and curses of all different colors and forms, showering over a sea of wizard robes. Hermione thought she could see Professor Trelawney throwing a crystal ball at a Death Eater, but that seemed pretty implausible. Looking across the room, she saw Ron dueling a Death Eater and getting absolutely owned. Hermione started towards him, but a tap on her shoulder stopped her.

She turned around to see a Death Eater behind her. "Excuse me," he said, looking down at a slip of paper. "Are you… Her-mi-o-ne Granger?"

Confused, she cautiously replied, "Yes?"

"Oh!" he said. "That's good. Can you give me your notebook?"

More confused than ever, she reached into her bag and pulled out her Arithmancy notes.

The Death Eater shook his head. "No, no, not that one," he said. "You know... the notebook you have that kills people."

"Oh, that one!" Hermione exclaimed before pulling out her wand and casting a Full Body-Bind on the Death Eater and running away.

"A simple no would have sufficed!" he called after her.

* * *

><p>Hermione ran along the train tracks for the Hogwarts Express until she couldn't run anymore.<p>

Luna ran up behind her as she collapsed on the ground. "How… much longer… until… we reach… London?" Luna panted.

Hermione flopped onto her back and breathed heavily. "I… don't know," she finally replied.

Sitting up, she looked back and saw that she was only a few feet from Hogwarts. "…but I guess it'll be a while," she continued.

Luna sat down beside her. "Why did you run away so quickly?" she asked.

"The Death Eaters want the Death Note," Hermione said. "I don't know why they want it, but if they do, it must be something bad."

"Couldn't you just write He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's name into the Death Note?" Luna inquired.

Hermione stared at her for a second before breaking into hysterical laughter. "What?" Luna asked.

After finally regaining her composure, Hermione replied, "Sorry, irony. But yes, I could do that, I just don't want to because I don't want to kill anyone, not even Voldemort."

"Oh," said Luna quietly. They sat there silently for a while before Hermione stood up and started walking along the tracks.

"So, what are we going to do in London?" Luna asked, following Hermione.

"I don't know, but considering the way these things work, we'll probably run into a dues ex machina," Hermione replied.


End file.
